Is to enjoy the passage of time. Have I been enjoying it? Not so much. I enjoy it when I’m exercising (with good tunes), when my daughter and I are having fun together, and when I’m cooking and eating a delicious meal. Oh and when I’m talking to my mom or best friend (even if we sometimes have differing opinions), using my infrared light mask, sitting in a sauna detoxifying, and taking a warm bath (in silence or listening to a podcast)! Working with kids helps time pass by but the behavioral challenges coming from the students I work with are not very enjoyable. The stress of not earning enough money to afford anything but my bills is not enjoyable. Living without emotional, physical, and mental intimacy is not that enjoyable but I have been learning how to take care of and love myself.
I’ve been waiting for a long time. The reason I’m not giving up on the process of falling in lust/love is because I thought it would never happen to me again after I experienced it for a few months at the age of 23…and then it did at the age of 26/27 ish. I mean I was totally going to live without the positive feelings and thoughts with my daughter’s dad when I was involved with him. I logically chose to go without until I felt emotions again. I don’t want to logically choose to go without in a relationship. Hence, while I’m still single. I don’t want to be single but I also don’t want to be numb within a relationship.
Yesterday, I told my student that everything will be OK and he’s gonna be OK and today he gave me the reminder in sticker form that he received from his peer that everything will be OK. Or in this case O-Kale!
We discussed biosciences, AI dystopia vs. utopia, the chokehold capitalism still has on our nation, and a little bit about sci-fi becoming more of our reality.
